Clear communication at work – Misunderstandings trigger 2: Certainty
Part of a blog series on the SCARF Model by David Rock. Part 2 of 5.
Know what you want to say, know what is going on.
Understand psychological communication triggers at work and learn how to avoid them so that your team can collaborate and create freely.
Helpful vocabulary is underlined and explained below!
David Rock: The SCARF Model
SCARF is an acronym and stands for Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness. If you are upset about something that happened with a colleague at work, David Rock says, it might be that you were triggered in one of these areas. Social pain, Rock tells us, is felt by the brain as sharply and acutely as physical pain. So it’s no wonder then that when there is conflict at work, we end up feeling “hurt”, “injured”, and that we spend large portions of the day “licking our wounds” afterwards.
Understanding what your triggers are (and those of your colleagues) can help you communicate better and enjoy a workplace with less unnecessary pain and stress.
If you are a leader, understanding these triggers is a powerful tool that will help manage your teams more smoothly and in a way that keeps everyone feeling safe, happy, and productive.
This post is about the second trigger: Certainty.
(Click here to get to the posts about Status, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness).
Certainty
Certainty is about our need to know the facts and to predict the future. Our brains love regularity and predictability. It makes us feel safe and able to focus on our work, and lets our creativity flow. When our routines are disrupted and we don’t know what’s going to happen, we lose focus and can often not regain it until we win back our sense of control by having a plan or a perspective.
Example: You tell your colleagues about a great new computer program you’ve just learned about. You’re full of enthusiasm because you think it’s going to make your work so much simpler and save you tons of time. But your colleague George doesn’t share your enthusiasm. Instead, he showers you in questions: “but what about the old software, do we just stop using that? How are we going to organise the data transfer? Who is going to be responsible for overseeing the transition?”. You get annoyed with him and his small-mindedness… can’t he see what a great improvement this will be? Well, maybe he will. But right now, George is in Certainty-threat-overload and can’t see past his anxieties about what will happen, and how, and when. To get him on board, you’ll have to help him feel safe first.
Dont’s:
– overwhelm people with huge news
– be ‘political’ with your information: withholding things, being vague, etc. People can feel it.
Do’s:
– break things down into manageable steps
– focus on things that stay the same even amid massive changes
– be clear and transparent with information
Helpful phrases for talking to someone who is experiencing this trigger:
“I know this seems like a huge change but I’ve already started making a plan on how we can implement this step-by-step. Let me show you.”
“I’m sure that seems like a lot to take in so for now let’s just focus on this first step.”
“I’d love it if you and I could sit down and figure out the details.
Click here to read Rock’s original article, watch this talk about his insanely insightful book Your Brain at Work, or check out the Neuroleadership Institute who offer great free webinars about creating psychologically safe, brain-friendly and inclusive work places.
And if you want more tips and resources for clearer communication in English, sign up to my newsletter below!
EDGY VOCABULARY FROM THIS POST:
acronym = an acronym is an abbreviation (=a short form) using the first letters of each word, e.g. ASAP (as soon as possible) or IDFK (I don’t fucking know)
licking your wounds = IDIOM: when someone hurt you and you want to go away somewhere and feel sorry for yourself
predictability = to predict something means you can say exactly what is going to happen
disrupted = disturbed, interrupted
regain something = get something back
tons of = lots of
small-mindedness = when someone is only thinking in a very narrow way, often pedantic
anxiety = fear and worry you feel over something you are not sure about
withholding information = holding information back, giving half-truths
amid = in the middle of
